Saturday, December 5, 2009

Unfun in the Capital

Hello my babies!! (always wanted to start a post like that... looks kinda gay on second thoughts)
This is a story from the good ole band days. We were selected to play in a Battle of the Bands episode of SaReGaMa in 2000. The band back then was me (vocals), Zac (guitar), aHart (guitar), Goose (bass), Satch (keys) & D (drums). This trip would have culminated in the brutal murder of aHart by Goose on our last evening in Delhi. Now aHart is a talented guitar player and sings pretty well too. We all love the man but he has some completely daft moments which even he cannot explain. Read on...

Prologue (one heck of a long one to get to the punchline)

We were shooting in Noida and were put up not far from the studio. The trip had gone pretty badly for the past three days we were there. The schedule was soundcheck & practice on Day 1 followed by the actual shoot on Day 2. Our last day was free and we'd kept it for sightseeing in the capital and possibly the Taj.

Day 1 - Completely chaotic scenes in the studio. Bands from all over the country have come in and are all over the place. No one knows what anyone is supposed to do, where we are supposed to go, when we are to soundcheck etc yada. The first day turns out to be a complete waste of time. At the end of Day 1 we are told, we will be shooting on Day 2 so be there by 10am sharp. We're kinda bummed coz we knew that now our sightseeing plans weren't going to pan out.
Day 2 - Lesser chaos but no one knows anything! We are continously told from 11am onwards that we will be shooting in an hour. This goes on till 5pm. A little after 5:30pm we are told there's going to be no shooting today since it has been postponed to the next day. We're already irritated and frustrated with all the delays and disorganisation so we head back to our digs and on the way pick up a bottle of vodka. Almost the entire bottle is finished by the end of the night in an attempt at drowning our frustrations (with the shoot and losing a day we could have spent going to Agra) and our sorrow (at being denied a chance to tour Delhi and visit the Taj).
Day 3 - We supposed to start shooting at 11am. We end up shooting at 8:30pm! So you can imagine the state of mind. We had a setlist of songs prepared according to prior instructions given by the makers of the show. Now an assholic judge in the form of one Shantanu Moitra decided we were a cocky band from Bombay who needed to be taught a lesson (I don't know for sure but this is the vibe I picked on from his fuckin' attitude) so he kept asking us to do random material which we obviously hadn't prepared for. It got to a point where despite explaining to him that we weren't prepared to play his 'requests', he wouldn't take no for an answer. I admit I lost my cool here and gave him a piece of my mind... politely of course. Things just went downhill from there and we ended up losing to a Lucknow based band, which in all honesty, I can say we were better than. I don't think the band has ever been as upset with me as they were that night.

So anyway everyone is totally mindfucked. We all decide we need to get seriously tanked and obliterate the memories of this day. Of course all the damn booze shops around are shut and its not even 10pm! We enter a 4 star hotel and ask the bar for a bottle but are turned down coz it was 10:15pm and the bar closes at 10pm. By now, tired - physically and mentally, all we can think of is getting back to the apartment and ending this miserable day. While in the car we suddenly realise there is still a tiny bit of vodka left from the previous night. So a little more cheered up we head to the room. We find enough vodka for 2 pegs and given the day/s we've gone through no one minds that two drinks will have to be shared among 5 people (aHart being the non-drinker). The plan is to wash up, change and then have our drinks, eat dinner and get to sleep.

Me, Satch, Zac and D are playing some cards to kill time while aHart heads to the kitchen where Goose is making our drinks very lovingly and carefully. A minute later, we can hear loud screaming from the kitchen...
Goose: You bastard!!... bhench**d!!... what the fuck is the matter with you ch**t???!!!!
aHart: err... sorry man... shit... I... sorry bhai
Goose: (more gaalis... full on maa-bhen stuff)

All of us have by now rushed into the kitchen to find out whats going on. It seems Goose had carefully measured out the two pegs in two glasses and kept them near the sink while he turned to get the ice and mixer from the fridge on the other side of the kitchen. While his back was turned aHart came in and threw the contents of both glasses i.e. the vodka into the sink and turned towards Goose with one empty glass in his hand. By now even we are befuddled at aHart's actions...
Goose: (still on with the maa-bhen but at marginally lower decibel levels)
Rest of us: But aHart why did you chuck the vodka??
aHart: sorry guys, I only wanted to get a drink ofwater and needed an empty glass...
Goose (who by now is being physically restrained by us): OK if you... one person... needed to have some water... why the f-u-c-k did you chuck BOTH the glasses??!!!?!!

So that was our last night in Delhi... without a drop of alcohol and lots of Sprite in our systems. aHart to this day is unable to adequately explain his actions from that night. We of course just giggle it off as one of his more spectacular blonde moments (and he's had a few...).

This post goes to my boys... to those times - good and bad.

Must you think we are wierd
Shave our heads, grow our beards
We could live with our folks
If it weren't for their talks
Feel my shoe in your face
That is why we're out of place!

Out of Place still rules!


Zaheer said...

awesome stuff my man

Blackfayth said...

Thank you thank you :)

adil said...

chal yaar aHart ko maaf karo Raat gai baat gai vodka bhi ...but boss brilliant tu book kyun nahi likhta ha?

Blackfayth said...

actually by the time I end with all these stories I might actually have enough for a book :)